Tried to fall in love last week and I missed...

So it has been a whirlwind since I woke up after my last post. I got up and Nick took me on a tour of South Jersey, swimming in the ocean for the first time, and working for Brandywine Electronics.

This vacation has been good for me...I still have a ways to go in my somewhat of a spiritual crisis, but things are at least going a good direction. To clear up some details, a really good friend of mine and myself had a long conversation and I was convinced by them at the end of the conversation there was nothing to live for. The biggest part of the conversation was his comments on pre-destination and how we all were cheap entertainment for God. We're a huge joke, like God says that something is wrong and then creates a person that can only do that wrong and punish them for it. It kind of takes away the "love" part of the equation. Between that and a stressful school/work/studio schedule...I was torn.

When I was out on the shore a couple days ago, I stepped in the ocean for the first time and it was a great feeling and kind of scary. The ocean looked like it went on forever, and I didn't know what was in it and how deep it went. I was finally waist deep in salt water and it was a great feeling. Then I slipped (yes, I know, leave it to me to slip on sand in water) and it freaked me out because I can't swim and the currents were kind of strong that day. As I was falling, a wave rushed up behind me and caught me and pushed me back up. I was kind of stunned and excited like a child at that moment. If I'm not making sense, think about this...I'm in unknown territory and falling...and something way bigger than me catches me. He's still up there catching me even though I'm down here still screwing up. And I'm responsible for consequences of my mistakes, He just makes the best of them. He's up there taking care of me, not puppeteering and laughing...thanks be to the Man Upstairs.
Soli Deo Gloria,
-Rod
P.S. There will be pictures soon...