Andy did you hear about this one...

So I've been reading the "Andy Kaufman Revealed!" Andy's biography...finally, my friend Cory gave me this book about 6-7 years ago...wow, I just realized how long ago that was. Anyway, somehow the book stayed with me moving from every state, through college and here to the east coast. See, back in 1999, the movie "Man on the Moon", an unrelated biography also about Andy was the favorite movie of myself, Cory and my best friend Jeb. I think we memorized that movie and sang all the songs R.E.M. wrote for it...Cory got the book and then passed it along to me and until now, I've had no real interest in reading it...possibly that I haven't had interest in reading in general. Since leaving college though, I find myself really interested in books...especially life stories...so I started reading a few weeks ago. I'm about a third of the way through (not bad considering I read minutes at a time or while at the gym). I really admire the courage Andy had and how he missed the mark so many times in comedy, but learned from those misses and got closer and closer to his hits. Someone I almost admire more is his best friend, Bob Zmuda. Actually, this book seems more like a story about him that happens to mention Andy alot. I guess since he wrote the book, it works. Zmuda really lived so much of what I journeyed through the last few years - living on the streets, apartment hopping, and boarding with kind families while making his way through the world.

Something I've noticed from not only this book, but also the memoirs of Margaret Cho, "I'm the One that I Want" is that life happened to them and journeys were defining moments for them they didn't realize they were missing. The goals they aspired to reach were very pale in comparison to the path they took to get there. Margaret had a very strong goal of being a TV star and worked so hard to get her own sitcom. She finally got it and it was a great thing, but it seemed like she was just not impressed with it as much any more because of the years of work it took to get there seemed so much more amazing. Andy wanted his own TV special and to be a star, when he became a star, he was bored with it and constantly tested the public. Although I admire Andy, I'll have to admit I think if I actually knew him personally I'd be constantly frustrated with him.

This is all an amazing revelation at the same time I realized parts of my journey. I say sometimes, "Urban Derivatives was such a waste of time on the way to what I really wanted to do...or Josh's project was such a waste since it foiled right before it was to break." Well, today I found out a band of many good friends "Pennington" had disbanded forever. It was kind of a shock, but not a complete surprise. I guess just being close enough to the guys I could see pieces coming undone. But they posted on their website that "We believe Pennington has run its course" and that really stuck with me. I remember all those Pennington concerts and the album being recorded and Jesse writing songs and running down the hall at 2am in his underwear to show me a new song idea. In retrospect, it feels like I was part of history. That band reached out to so many people and made them happy. It didn't matter that it wasn't Aerosmith: Aerosmith, Bon Jovi, Pennington, it was all the same...it was a band of serious touring musicians that had great music and put their mark on the world. Somehow I was fortunate to be a part of that. Then my mind dug deeper. There was "Urban Derivatives". That band is metaphorically six-feet-under, but I got to manage a great band, briefly got to be their keyboard player, produced two whole albums for them, co-wrote some material and even lived with the band and toured with them running sound, etc. That was a rockstar time in my life. Though that band put me through more stress than I could ever create for myself, in the end, I was a part of history. It was a great band, with great songs, with great talent...even the short stint with Josh was an extension of "Urban D"...so three bands later, I've gotten to live a rockstar life in less than 4 years...just like in my dreams...wow...and as for the bands all dismantling...well, even the Beatles broke up, Elvis died, and Michael Jackson lost his mind...life happens, the lifetime of anything on this earth will run its course and life moves on. I was FORTUNATE to get to be directly invloved in some very great pieces of history...and I don't doubt I will be a part of many other pieces of history. Just as long as I'm not so caught up in the end that I miss the happening...

Well, it is really late, so I will write more later...TCGBGN...
-Rod